DiSC Profile for Couples

Check out a summary of the blog here.

With it being Valentine’s Day today, I thought it would be fitting to write quick blog post on using a DiSC profile with your significant other.  You’ve heard of DiSC before, you’ve used it in a business setting, you’ve applied the concepts with your co-workers – and it’s been working wonderfully.  Now – imagine if you applied these principles at home with your spouse or significant other?

When we’re teaching DiSC in a classroom setting, almost always, during break or lunch, we have someone approach us about using DiSC with their significant other.  In fact, we’ve had many clients allow their employees to extend the offer to their spouses to complete a profile with the employer covering the cost!

DiSC is a language and a culture that I use at work and home, everyday.  My husband and I have completed our own personalized DiSC profiles and once we completed those, we took a look at our (free!) comparison reports.  Initially it was a bit scary (we’re polar opposites!).  But after spending time learning about what my husband prioritizes and preferences (and he did the same with me), we were able to adapt our styles to communicate more effectively.  Does that mean we never argue?  Nope.  But for the most part, we’re both very aware of each others communication styles and we often take the time to step back and realize the way we are being perceived.

DiSC Profile for Couples Comparison Report

I’ll give you a basic example. For years when we had plans to be somewhere by a certain time, I would get ready (giving myself a bit of extra time) and then I would go to the front door, put my shoes and jacket on and stand there.  Staring at my husband (wondering why he hasn’t made the slightest effort to get out the door).  Inevitably we’d be late, I’d be upset and my husband would be annoyed that I was upset and frustrated that I was standing at the door ready giving him the evil eye (and here I was thinking I was just patently standing there ‘wondering’ what he was doing).  Remember – it’s how others perceive you.  Understanding our DiSC styles (I am and S, my husband is a Di) a few things have changed:

DiSC-Profile-for-Couples

  • I adapt: I now tell him specifically what time I’d like to be heading out the door (in advance), rather than assuming that he knows what time I want to leave and the fact that we have to stop at the drug store on the way.
  • I adapt: I tend to give one reminder 30 minutes before departure (I thought this was treating him like a child before, now I realize he just wants me to be blunt, get to the point and tell him how much time he has).
  • I adapt: I (try) do not stand at the door giving him the evil eye if he is behind.  In most situations, I realize that a few minutes behind a schedule (that I planned to be early for anyways), wont impact things very much.  So rather than be frustrated with my husband, realize that a couple of extra minutes wont hurt.  And we both enjoy the car ride together, rather than sitting in silence angry with each other over something so silly.
  • He adapts: He often asks me if he has time to do something before we leave.  I realized I was taking things to the extreme one time (I was standing at the door evil-eye/wondering) and my husband asked “do I have time to go to the washroom”?.  Although I was annoyed, I realized I was being a bit crazy.  Of course you can go to the washroom…. well, assuming it’s just number 1. I’m still working on my adaptability.
  • He adapts: He understands that schedules and organization are important to me, even if my schedules are arbitrary, he respects them and tries to stick to them.  Come to think of it, I can’t recall the last time I stood at the door waiting.

The Everything DiSC Comparison report will shed some light on how two people interact along 6 continuum.  It also gives you some tips and tricks on how this will impact your relationship and step you can take to improving your communication.  Here are a couple snippets from my husband (Kurt) and I’s comparison report.  These snippets explain a lot about our simple example above.

DiSC Profile for Couples Comparison-ReportDiSC Profile for Couples

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